Why Dogs Are Better Than Women
Dogs don’t cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to
a quick drink.
Dogs don’t expect you to call when you are
running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are
to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other
dogs.
Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another
dog’s name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that flatulence is funny.
Dogs love red meat.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
Dogs don’t shop.
Dogs like it when you leave a lot of things
on the floor.
A dog’s disposition stays the same all month
long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog’s parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than
asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than
dogs were made to be hunted.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you
incessantly, you can shoot it.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don’t hate their bodies.
No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the
Blowfish album.
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching
adulthood.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice
to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
It’s legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
Dogs don’t worry about germs.
Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog
you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as
opposed to in your wallet, desk and the
back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger
dinner than a lobster one.
You never have to wait for a dog. They’re ready
to go 24 hours a day.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.
Dogs never want foot rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
Dogs can’t talk.
Dogs aren’t catty.
Dogs seldom outlive you
